Saturday, November 05, 2005
www.vinylroses.diary-x.com - leave a message on my guestbook if you please, & yes I know I'm forever moving (:
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It's been 6 days since the barbeque (sorry for unnecessary sentimentality) & I still haven't really gotten used to the fact that it's all over. Slow reaction, huh. I'm not going to go all weepy on you but, yeah. Pity, isn't it?
That last day of school we cleaned up the classroom I cried like crazy because it was difficult letting go of that much - a whole year's worth of tangible memories; physical objects I could actually see & feel. Things like the MOV Zoo, things like simple messages on the whiteboard, things like paper on the noticeboard - I seemed to have gotten so used to all of those that toward the end of the year I was just living in the classroom thinking (wrongly) I didn't have much attachment to it - in other words, taking all that for granted.
I think it's sort of funny & cool in an unexpected sort of way, that I manage to open up a whole lot easier on this blog. Maybe it's because I spill my guts here with all 37 of you in mind (yes, even Tamsin), maybe it's because I want to make sure you guys feel the same way I do. This goes way beyond simply talking about how our class has been the best any one of us (or all of us, very very possibly) has ever experienced in entire lives, in entire lives spent going to school. So there's this sort of ache right now, inside me; sort of like a difficult break-up with someone I've been going out with for say, 2 years, it's as though I fear we never happened, you know? I'm that insecure.
So, woah. I don't know if any of this made any sense to any of you (3 any-s in a sentence & you know Camilla is having trouble gathering her thoughts sufficiently enough to focus) but I guess that's it. All I have to say.
To Yunhui, Charlyn & Alicea - Enjoy your newfound lives, enjoy your time in NUS High/NJ/VJ & know that SC will not be the same without you. We'll call you back for class gatherings (hopefully we will find time to meet up, yeah?) & I suppose the most important thing to do right now would be to LOOK FORWARD & not stand stagnantly weeping about the past & about things you cannot change. GO WITH AN OPEN MIND. (2 cliches is enough, yeah?)
To everyone else - (: Wave along the corridors, in the courtyard, say hi, acknowledge presences & all okay? WE CANNOT LOSE FAMILIARITY & IDENTIFICATION. I loved this class (:
Take care everyone, & have a happy holiday.
Love,
Camilla (:
wheezed and
sneezed ;
8:33 pm
